Quote on Quote Caring

Saying you care as you pin me down,
As I sink you tell me it's what's right,
Sunken in and sunken under,
Can't catch my breath,
Can't find the air,
All the while keep saying you care,
No hand directed  my way,
Not one fault of how your
Life turned out this way
Should be mine; but look,
Look here, yes I, am the one you blame,
Push me down and kick me out,
Still, you never let go,
Suffocating and regurgitating,
In everything I've come to know,
You won't leave my side,
But it's only for your own good, not mine,
Laying and withering while I need you the most,
When we recover it never is over for us,
Before I can begin to lift my chin,
To the sunlight, you pull me back under,
And you pull me back down,
Your helping is hurting me,
Forcing me into your rhythm and rhyme,
Striking me with sound and with song,
Repetition and refusal to hear me,
How can you not have the courtesy,
To at least look into my eyes,
While you destroy me and deny me?
One thing I ask,
ONE THING I ask!!!
Let me have one last daydream,
Of my own rhythm,
The rhythm of my feet, drowning
You out, to not hear your voice.
All I am asking is let me run free
I don't want to be you,
I want to find me.

I Stole Your Silhouette

If you wake one morning,
and see no reflection in your mirror,
It's because I stole it from you
You beautiful monster.
No physique?
Check my stuffed empty pockets.
Revisar el interior de mis bolsillos vacios!
It is more than a dear locket,
Lying on my collar.
It's more than a diamond ring,
Wrapped around my finger
it is, you are.
But only is it that way when you are unaware.
When we both are vulnerable.
In my dreamland.
While you and I rest
Yet have such a strong connection.
Only at rest, only at rest.
How stupid,
How stupid and useless is this love.
How stupid.

Where Am I

Here we are on this Hell,
On this cold Earth,
Trapped in His Heaven*
Deceived since our birth.
Looking and searching,
for nothing we'll find.
Even when we think
it is found
It's always a lie
Living content, when we deserve so much more.
Still think it's found?
You're being fooled by sight.
Being filled with sound
You're not fighting my fight.
In lovers we find adventure and turn
Being stupid and naive, I wonder why you've been burned
Say you're in love with all you believe
Just keep following that perfect road
Yellow Brick Road of deceit.
Promise it's set in stone
Keep lying through your teeth.
Continue rehearsing the lines,
Love, fate, destiny
When really it's all coincidence
Chance, probability.
Believe there is something beyond
Cause there never will be.
Tell yourself the truth,
You'll never be happy.

Poor Little Intricate Puzzle

Laying here,
Five friends I have ,
Mind, light, pencil and paper.
None of them agree with the other
The light wants to dance,
My mind wants to sleep.
The paper moving,
The pencil, steady.
Light, pencil, paper, and mind.
My security.
They'll never hurt me,
and  always fulfill me.
That's all I need
No people in mind,
Because when I try,
Pencil, light, mind, and paper
Get me caught up
In their song, dance,
riddles, and rhyme.
They tell me what's right
Demand what is wrong.
So I tell them all my secrets
I'd never tell you.
Paper, mind, pencil and light
They all know me and have me figured out.
Putting pieces together that don't even fit
Is the smartest thing
Because that always is it.
Human says he knows me,
But no one does more than
Light, mind, pencil and paper
Who have just met me.
Stupid they are for thinking.
You'll never understand more than them
Not even they, will know who I am
Until I solve myself,
Until I know what I want,
Just to reassure you,
I'll never know that.

Worthy

 I wish I would have met you when this world was mine,
I could've been your friend, without you being mine.
I could've made you happy, even while I had cried.
I wish I could have met you when this world was mine.
I have lost my grip,
and I no longer rule.
I merely exist,
I feel an emptiness.
I would've done all of this for you,
but now I am unable.
I can not even do it for my self....
So where are you?
I now know you,
When will you know me? 
Is it I, or is it you,
who is not worthy?

Holocaust Discussion that went too far.

Every couple of days, I lose respect for at least one more person. However, today I lost respect for not just one person, but a collection of the most unlikely people. Good ol' English class! You wouldn't believe that we are the advanced class meant to be the "smart", "open minded" children.

We were talking about a poem having to do with the Holocaust. We were discussing all of the people who could've helped, but did not, and why they didn't do so. Many of the comments made sense and many did not. Some people said that, maybe people didn't realize the severity of the situation, or didn't know about it at all, which is somewhat true. Some said that many people didn't care because it wasn't them, again, true. A few even said something about how they were too afraid of what might happen to them, true. It was not the reasons of why people didn't help that made me feel a loss of respect for these people, but it was their reasoning, that they even agreed with!!! For example one girl said the reason she wouldn't say anything about it is because her word wouldn't make a difference. WRONG. What this girl doesn't realize is that the reason the Holocaust not only continued, but continued with such brutality and severity, is because no one stopped to question: "Why is this happening?" "Why is this wrong?" (Another girl said something in response to this remark and she put it the best way possible so I will put it on here) "When enough people complain and ask questions, eventually someone will have to answer to them eventually" - An obviously more educated/experienced student. Now, I'm not dogging anyone for their opinion, but I AM saying that if you"re going to have an opinion try your best to have it backed up with morals, evidence, and reason. This still, isn't what quite upset me.  My teacher went on to make a point on how the U.S. tends to move on from enemy to enemy (in response to a students comment on how the U.S. weren't too fond of the Jewish nationality at that time anyhow), despite if what might be happening in the world. Therefore, the conversation was moved to racial clashes and many more stupid comments. For example, I heard "I hate mexicans." "Yeah I'll have to agree with you on that one." and "But you know who really gets on my nerves? Chinese people" or "Ugh, have you heard about that building of a mosque on Ground Zero? Why don't you just go ahead and invite the terrorists in?", and I couldn't help but think of how ridiculously stupid each and every one of these comments were. I began to get offended, and was about to burst when THANKFULLY our English teacher brought the conversation back to it's previous point. I kept thinking about everything and anything I could say to these people. How close minded and stuck up do you have to be to be so ridiculously judgemental? Yet these people are always complaining about others being exactly what THEY are. However, I should have expected it. Its sad that I actually had so much respect for these people at first. I have to consider the fact (also being that there are only two kids in there, including myself, that are not caucasian) that we live in a small southern town where they label, label, label, judge, label, judge, judge, and label some more, and in their eyes you are either a christian, atheist, or agnostic, goth, emo, prep, redneck, alien, or, my least favorite: just different.