The Choke

I sat with you, a smile on my face,
We said laughable things and became friends.
I told you everything I knew about myself.
You listened. You're the first.
The first to know, and to listen.
I sat next to you, butterflies in my stomach.
You knew about how I felt by then.
Still, you didn't act odd, you were still my friend.
You were the only person who would answer when I asked.
The only one left to talk to.
Then, you began getting distant.
My feelings faded in and out, with no control.
I sat next to you, a knot in my stomach, but a smile on my face like before.
She sat next to you, nausea in my stomach,
Her eyes bright and your smile wide.
You talked of laughable things,
I knew how you felt, and you felt for her.
As it was my turn in contribution to the group,
My throat burned as I controlled the struggle in my throat.
The pain in my eyes.
I knew it from the beginning, it could not have been true.
Someone who accepted me the way I am?
Why did I even think that was possible?
I don't talk to you.
Anger.
I'm not innocent, sweet, and thin.
She is.
I'm faithful, truthful, and silly.
She isn't.
I don't talk to you.
No feeling for you, besides apathy and humor.
He makes me feel special, the one that I love.
The one that I have more feelings for...
He truly does like me the way I am.
I'm letting you know this, because you seem to amused that I liked you.
You desired my attention but denied my affection.
 'Friend'
I told you  so much, so much of me. You never cared. But thank you, because I believed it long enough to be happy. I can never be mad at you for that, the "listening". It helped.
Everything is bittersweet, however, of course. He's leaving, and can not stay. You win. I suppose.